For the Love of Endings

For those of you just joining my Jen  For the Love Adventure,  today starts the weekend where I go to stay in a house with online only friends that I’ve never met in real life and go to Jen Hatmaker’s house to say Godknowswhat and embarrass myself. 

I am ending this For the Love Adventure in much the same way I began it—like Jesse Spano screaming, “I’m so excited!  I’m so excited!  I’m so scared!” 

When I first got on the FTL Launch Team Facebook page, I was totally overwhelmed and intimidated.  Do these girls know each other?  How did these girls already read this entire book?  Why is something #onthebeam or #offthebeam?  Maybe I shouldn’t have applied to be on this launch team!  I don’t get this!!!

Then someone shared a struggle.  A real struggle.  And the group responded with grace and kindness and prayer and me toos.  And someone told a joke.  The group responded with laughter and grace and kindness and prayer and me toos.  And we went on and on and on like that, laughing together, crying together, praying together, me-too-ing together, and in the midst of our crazy worlds, where we first shared only the love of the words in Jen’s books, we were suddenly sharing our lives.  And I thought, THIS.  I get THIS. 

And here I am now at Austin’s airport standing in front of Austin Java (which incidentally doesn’t sell coffee at this time of day?  #dontmakemegoallLoreleionyou) listening to a random guy play softly on his guitar and waiting excitedly to meet up with a new FTL friend whose flight arrives in a couple of hours.  We will then ride with other sort-of strangers to stay in a house with more sort-of strangers.  This is ALL still the excited part.  I can’t wait to make all of these new friends and hang out with all of these cool people who are full of grace and kindness and laughter. 

And here I am again, scared.  What if they don’t think I’m funny?  What if I look fat?  What if I swear too much and they go all mean Christian on me?  What if I cry and they give me judgmental advice?  What if when I get to talk to Jen I go fangirl or read-my-book girl or worse yet, am forgettable? 

But what I’m even more scared of is… what is going to happen to my 500 new best friends?  Will Stacey beat Lyme?  And when she does, will I know and get to celebrate with her?   Who will Erin Leigh Cox dubsmash for now?  What will happen to Andrea Trexler Conway now that she lives in New York?  Will Pamela Anne still sell me beautiful cuffs?  How will I know when Terri Gorton Fullerton is in Colorado and we could visit?  How is sweet Embo? Just how many copies of FTL has Danielle Brower signed now?  And who on earth will share their online dating tragedies with me now?!

For the Love built a community.  It gave us a reason to connect and laugh and breathe and say me too.  

I’m glad I’ve been a little part of it.  Now let’s party!  #Budaorbust